The LA Times recently posted a list of things to do in Hawaii. On their list: swim with turtles, be a Hawaiian cowboy, do the Ironman, visit a farmer’s market, go whale watching, drink some beer, ride a helicopter, visit a jungle and talk story.

Swimming with turtles is fine. But please don’t touch them. That is illegal here in Hawaii.

Be a paniolo. I guess that this could be fun, but it sounds like hard work to me. But if you are coming from Oklahoma, it sounds a little too ordinary for you. But to each his own.

Do the Ironman. Sorry not unless you are an elite triathlete. They even reserve a number of spots for locals but it is still super hard to qualify even for a someone like me. I was just way too slow. Oh well.

Visit a farmer’s market…like these don’t exist else where. But I will say that we do have some interesting fruits and vegetables.

Go whale watching. Whales are cool. But they scare the heck out of me. 30 foot boat, 100 foot whale. You decide…

Drink beer. Hey I can’t complain. But why is it that Heinenken seems to be more popular than locally made brands? At least Primo is back, but it is owned by a company from Chicago. Though the beer sold locally, at least, is made on Kauai.

Ride a helicopter to see the volcano and the snow on Mauna Kea. This sounds like fun, but a little extravagant for me. But I guess if I was visiting I could see the rationale for splurging a little.

I liked this quote from the LA Times:

Talk story, brah! In Hawaii, “talk story” can mean anything from two old friends getting together to catch up to a more organized storytelling celebration such as the Talk Story Festival, held annually in Honolulu. On the Big Island, each month on the Saturday evening closest to the full moon, the Mauna Lani Bay Hotel’s cultural ambassador and respected kahu (Hawaiian minister and cultural guardian) Danny Akaka hosts “Full Moon Talk Story” on the lawn next to the hotel’s Love Cottage. This free monthly gathering draws throngs of locals and visitors alike, who hear everything from Hawaiian musicians to island elders telling oral histories of Hawaii.

At least the writer is working on learning some pidgin. Maybe I should send him one dictionary.

According to the Star Advertiser, Hilo Hattie will be downsizing its Ala Moana Store:

Local retailer Hilo Hattie, popular among tourists for its aloha shirts and Hawaii souvenirs, is closing its Ala Moana Center location on the makai side of the mall and moving to the mauka side, where it will focus more on local customers.

The existing 8,351-square-foot street-level Ala Moana store near Old Navy will close April 30. The company will reopen May 1 at a 1,920-square-foot prototype Hilo Hattie Kamaaina Collection outlet on the opposite end of the mall adjacent to Barnes & Noble Booksellers.

I guess the rent there was too high. I heard that Ala Moana has one of the highest rent per square foot in all of the Pacific for retail space. At least the Hilo Hattie’s here in Hilo, Hawaii has remained untouched. But what do I know, it’s not like I run the company or anything.

According to Fox News, GSA employees spent 5 days in Hawaii for a 1 hour ribbon cutting ceremony and they had a 10 day trip planned to Hilo Hawaii for some ground breaking ceremonies.

The House Transportation and Infrastructure Committee said Wednesday that five employees associated with the recently scandal-plagued Government Services Administration went to Hawaii for up to a week in 2011 to attend an hour-long groundbreaking on space leased by the federal government for the FBI…

The employee indicated to the IG investigator that trip was not isolated and that there was another, longer junket scheduled for Hawaii this fall.

That one would be in Hilo, Hawaii for 10 days and would include groundbreakings for a federal building, a post office and perhaps a courthouse.

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2012/04/11/gsa-employees-travel-to-hawaii-five-days-for-one-hour-ribbon-cutting/#ixzz1sXvkX8i9

Of course this trip is pretty much all government business. What else could you do in Hilo for 10 days? Now Las Vegas on the other hand…

Golf Courses in Hilo, Hawaii

There are two golf courses in Hilo: Hilo Muni and the Naniloa Golf Club. Both are good courses and fun to play, unless you are looking for something that is a little more high end. But the side benefit is that they don’t cost an arm and a leg. Hilo Muni is already one of the most inexpensive golf courses in the state, but it is even more inexpensive to us, residents. Last time I played there it was $40 for a one month pass for all you can play on week days. Let’s just say it is a bargain for all of the retirees who seem to play five rounds a week rain or shine. Though in Hilo it is generally more rain then shine.

I don’t remember exactly how much Naniloa costs but it wasn’t that bad either compared to the $50 to $150 rounds I played in California. But the Naniloa is only 9 holes. Though what is nice about it is that it is located across the street from Hilo Bay, so if you like looking at water it might be the course for you. And if you are staying at one of the Banyan Drive Hotels it is a no brainer because it is right across the street.

One fun thing about Naniloa is that it is right in the flight path of the airplanes that are landing in Hilo Airport. This makes both putting and driving a very interesting and uncertain event, unless you have the exact departure and arrival schedule on your iPhone.

Here’s a little blog post with some pictures of Hilo Muni. I’d snap some photos of Hilo Muni myself, but my back has kept me from playing golf for a while. Oh well. Besides, I’d be more focused on my round than on taking photos anyway. That is unless there’s some slow play going on in the group ahead of me. My favorite quote from that post is:

Every green is elevated, if you hit short, you did not get on. If you hit a flyer you were off the back. I suggest you practice your chipping if you play Hilo Municipal Golf Course.

Do you know why all the greens are elevated?

It’s because of all the rain we get here. If the greens weren’t elevated the would be a water hazard or at least a mud hazard.

It also has a covered driving range so that you can hit golf balls in the rain. But it’s not much of a help when the rain is coming down sideways. Just don’t hit an air ball or you will hit the roof and all the middle school golfers will laugh at you when they hear the loud clank. But then again, this advice is probably just for me. I’m sure that you are a much better golfer than I am.

Many hours of incredible hula have drawn to a close in Hilo and the results of the 2012 Merrie Monarch Festival are in. According to www.bigislandvideonews.com:

…the night belonged to the group from Pauoa on Oahu, Halau I Ka Wekiu. Kumu Hula Karl Veto Baker & Michael Nalanakila’ekolu Casupang’s halau were top place finishers in both the Kane Kahiko and Kane ‘Auana divisions (1,147 points overall), and even took 2nd place in the wahina auana.

And here are the winners:

Kane Kahiko

Halau I Ka Wekiu
Na Kumu Hula Karl Veto Baker & Michael Nalanakila’ekolu Casupang
Pauoa, Honolulu, O’ahu

Wahine Kahiko

Halau O Ke ‘A’ali’i Ku Makani
Kumu Hula Manu Boyd
Kane’ohe, O’ahu

Kane ‘Auana

Halau I Ka Wekiu
Na Kumu Hula Karl Veto Baker & Michael Nalanakila’ekolu Casupang
Pauoa, Honolulu, O’ahu

Wahine ‘Auana

Halau Mohala ‘Ilima
Kumu Hula Mapuana de Silva
Ka’ohao, Kailua, O’ahu
Overall kane

Halau I Ka Wekiu
Na Kumu Hula Karl Veto Baker & Michael Nalanakila’ekolu Casupang
Pauoa, Honolulu, O’ahu

Overall wahine

Halau O Ke ‘A’ali’i Ku Makani
Kumu Hula Manu Boyd
Kane’ohe, O’ahu
OVERALL

Halau I Ka Wekiu
Na Kumu Hula Karl Veto Baker & Michael Nalanakila’ekolu Casupang
Pauoa, Honolulu, O’ahu

Congratulations to all of the winners and all of the participants! Though I think that the real winners are the residents of Hilo, who get to witness this incredible display of Hula every year.